I Felt Joy

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The other day something strange happened. It almost alarmed me.

I was in the car with my two youngest children. I had just picked up my son from school. Many days he is grumpy and tired after school. He tends to be a bit moody. But this day, he was in a quite pleasant mood and I was grateful. As we began to make our way home I noticed some things that I had not seen in what felt like an eternity.

There were blooms on trees. They were pink and white and a deep rose color and on some they were just beginning to burst out. There were trees in full bloom that I had not noticed the day before. It was a stark contrast to see these beauties next to the many trees without leaves that line our streets right now. The colors were beautiful and almost glowing. I pointed out the first one I saw to my son. I said, “Look! A tree is blooming. Spring is really coming!” And he smiled.

I never thought that Spring would come. I got lost this past winter, lost in clinical depression. I was lost in a big dark deep cavernous hole. The hole got so deep that absolutely no light shined through. All I could see was darkness and all I could wish for was escape. It became so dark that I thought there was no escaping and that things like flowers, trees and plants would never come to life again. The darkness took over me and I tried to end my life.

But somehow, I’m here. I made it to now. And somehow I am seeing light again. And somehow, the trees are blooming. Miraculously, a gift from God, I saw these trees, really saw them, and I felt joy.

I felt a joy that lasted more than a moment or a flash. I felt joy at the prospect that spring was actually really coming! With that joy came hope. Hope for the spring and renewal of my spirit. And with that hope came faith, faith that God was at work all this time and pulling for me, holding on to me despite my mind’s tricks and and travels into the darkness.

Joy is lasting, joy is pure. Joy is something that fills your heart and soul and gives you peace. Joy is a gift. Joy is seeing things with clear vision again. I’m just so very grateful that I felt joy.

 

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Romans 15:13

 

This post is being added to the #momsterslink linky!  Check it out here!

I’ve also added this post to the #sharethejoylinky!

Share the Joy linky at TheJoyChaser.com
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15 thoughts on “I Felt Joy

  1. What a great post. I struggle with depression as well and it hits hard the last couple months of the cold winter season. I used to live in southern Nevada where it was warm 9 months of the year and now I live in the northern part of Nevada where I feel like I rarely see the sun and I do believe there are days my body just doesn’t want to even function…to even get out of bed. I think that’s why I had started drinking wine everyday because the tiny buzz was a moment of happy but I recently realized that wasn’t the answer. I started working out and I feel much better but still have days that I feel completely miserable. I hope you find more days of joy ahead and thank you for sharing such an honest post with #momsterslink.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading, visiting and sharing your truth with me here! It’s a hard battle some days isn’t it? We have to grab the little bits of joy when we can! I’m cheering you on from Kansas. 👏❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I can so relate to this post, being through depression and then starting to notice the good and beauty in our world again is such a rediscovery of our joy in life. You capture this beautifully xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi, friend! We met at the GBS conference last weekend and I just added your blog to my Bloglovin’ feed. Looking forward to following along! Also, another blogger/real-life friend and I are planning a KC blogger meetup and we’d love for you to join! I couldn’t find your email address anywhere, but if you want to drop me an email with it (sarahbsides at gmail dot com), we’ll add you to our list! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! I’d so love that! Thank you for visiting… I will definitely email you. I need to add my contact info to my blog! Thanks for reminding me. 😉 Great to hear from you Sarah! I’ll add your blog too.

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  4. I fell in love with this post. I too, had a horrible winter. There was no light, no hope. This morning I woke up and to my surprise I heard the birds singing. It was a harmony that sounded like it was created just for my ears to hear. God does work in the most miraculous of ways. I am also so happy and blessed that you did not leave this earth when you tried to. I think I was meant to find you. So, you can’t leave just yet. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes…tears to my eyes now…the birds are singing and we are connected. The mysteries of life and God can be so beautiful! I’m saying thank you, for you, right now! I couldn’t and wouldn’t have even been able to utter those words a few weeks ago…the dark winter of our souls may be over. ❤️

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